I just saw my psychiatrist on Thursday.

Told him about how I have been off my medications for about 2 months now.

We agreed that I could stay off of them but I could easily call to get a new script if I felt the need.

It is a little rougher without.

I understand the artificial edge the meds gave me.

I have better coping skills than I did.

I am in adjustment still to coping without the edge the meds gave me.

I am writing here to keep self aware of my mental state.

I have been living,sometimes barely surviving with mental illness since I was a toddler.

I only finally sought treatment 3 and a half years ago. After a severe mental breakdown.

Being this psychology aware of myself is still a relatively new thing for me.

I was not managing at all before.

Now though.

Yes some rough moments recently.

Who doesn’t?

I just speak out now,instead of bottling it up and letting it consume me.

My illness is part of me.

It is not me.

It does not define who I am.

I won’t let it.

I may be A Madman Without a Cat.

I am the coolest,sincerist,most sensitive, blunt,loyal,loving,magickal and positive Madman you will ever meet.

Namaste

Steve

-current listening

Meshuggah- Koloss

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