Well tomorrow I level up to 42. 42 years on the Earth. I’ve been through a lot.
Depression,anxiety and years of being suicidal.
I have made a lot of mistakes over the years.
I have made a lot of changes though too.
I have changed myself a lot.
The last few months have been crazy. Living and working in the same building has been cool but stressful.
It also led to my early birthday present.
The Crazy Cat Dude got a dog.
It’s different than what I am accustomed to with cats but it’s all good.
She’s a good little dog.
Losing weight from our multiple walks a day.
I can say I am pretty decently happy, I guess is the right word. I am pretty content with the state of affairs in my life at the moment.
I got a roof over my head,food in my stomach and a new furry friend.
All part of my adventure called life to me.
I was having some discussions in comments over on Facebook,on a post about suicide. Which led to another post about life and being evil…maybe I should copy it over to here. But anyway. Someone thanked me for my help when they were going through a rough moment last year. Another person said I had a free and wise heart. I am humbled by their comments.
I don’t know. I just think about stuff a lot. Ask a lot of questions about the world,life, and existence as a whole. I replied that I was a depressive poet in my teens and early twenties. I sorta became a philosopher of sorts over the years with asking all these questions,making a lot of mistakes and just trying to live through all those years of being suicidal.
Next month will mark the three year anniversary of the last time I had a suicidal moment. Three years since I metaphorically speaking died.
Whoever I was prior to 2015,died that July. This new guy is only three years old. I am still growing into him. I am still shedding some old dead pieces of the previous guy. Which means I’m learning or working on stuff that I should have known for years but don’t.
Working out and dealing with things that I should have done years ago. I have been thinking about writing an open letter to the three people I called my best friends growing up. We have grown apart over the years and I just want to get some of it off my chest for my well being before I make the final decision on keeping them as part of my life.
That’s neither here nor there though.
I have made it through another year.
Here’s to another one about to start.
Abide well my friends.
The Reverend Mad Cat or Dog Steve.