#26 Vision for the future.

A follow-up to the last post. 

Again super busy with school, trying to find a place to live, and steady work.

But my vision for my future is clear.

My Vision

My personal life  Vision is to improve the well-being of all felines from the common house cat to large predatory cats. To be an advocate for large predatory cat conservation efforts. Being the public voice of feline and dude relationships. I plan to establish the First Temple of the Crazy Cat Dude,which would be the first physical Church of the Latter-Day Dude. A peaceful site where cats who have been long awaiting adoption due to age or health problems can live out their nine lives happily cared for. I desire to become physically fit so I may continue my vision for all feline kind through the rest of my days. 

The Reverend

The Madman Without A Cat.

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#22 Taking It Easy,Job Hunting In a New City

Well I have been here at my undisclosed location for a bit now.

I love it here,every day is blessedly warm. Which for the self professed plant man that I am is very welcome change of environment. It has been in the upper 70s to low 80s the past week or so. I am loving it.

My switching store locations for work didn’t go as planned but that is okay.

I have been applying for jobs related to very differing interests animal shelters and fitness centers. I have been wanting to work with animals for awhile now and I have been wanting to work in a fitness environment to keep myself from having an excuse not to get exercise and get into shape. I have no doubt about getting work in either of these fields just waiting to hear back on my applications. 

This new version of me is not stressed in the least.

I guess becoming a Dudeist Reverend has really taken to my mind and soul. The previous incarnation would be freaking out right now. This newly reborn version knows just to breath deep relax,take it easy and everything will sort itself out for the best. 

Even though this move wasn’t planned out as well as it could have been due to the rapid change on the time table. 

I have no complaints. 

I am happier than I ever thought I could be again. 

There will be a cat again in the future and maybe a dog too. 

Then this will be a chronicle of my adventures with my furry partners.

šŸ™‚

The Madman Without A Cat  (for now)

The Rev.

Namaste my brothers and sisters Namaste. 

#9 No Job,Anxiety, Changes,Uncertainty, Hope.

I got fired from my job yesterday. 

I had been having anxiety revolved around work for weeks. Even before Louie died,more so since.

Yesterday day marked 21 days since my furry life partners death.

The anxiety over the past 3 weeks had been building. 

I had a bad feeling all morning yesterday and it got worse as I walked to work.

Like my gut was telling me 

“Wait the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet.”

Even though I felt a bit dejected as I was let go.

That  anxiety lifted off my shoulders and it was a relief.

A relief.

A new anxiety replaced the old.

When will I find a new job? 

Can I survive until then?

Then new anxiety filled but exciting questions filled my head.

Should I stay here?

Should I pack up and leave before winter sets in?

Advance plans that were meant for next year after my birthday to now?

So many anxiety riddled but exciting questions? 

An uncertain future. 

Not knowing is what makes me anxious. 

Possibilities galore.

New hope and new beginnings. 

#4 New BeginningsĀ 

Well I moved out of my previous residence on the 13th. 

Been at the new place since. 

It’s cheaper by $150 a month,so puts me ahead a bit financially. 

Roommate has a dog,who(the dog) happens to choose to jump into bed with me when I am sleeping and they aren’t around. Which is actually okay.

I am still grieving over Louie.

I miss him so much.

Life changes,sometimes in ways we don’t want and very fast.

Focusing on work has helped a bit.

Really, while at work today I noticed in particular, I am kinda just numb to whatever state my life may be in, outside those doors. I am oddly okay with that.

I haven’t slid down the mountain of life so to speak. More like I fortunately found a small outcropping that I can take a moment and sit on. Quietly,reflect on all that has happened. 

I will never forget my Louie.

He was the best cat I ever had.

This is not the end,this is not my final destination. 

There is more for me to do

More that I want to do.

More that I will do and accomplish.

More cats to love. 

A dog (of my own) to love.

A small private farm is a dream,that I wish to achieve. 

I will find a way to make that happen.

This is just the beginning of things.

Steve

The Madman Without a Cat.

#3 The Cat.

I don’t know where to start.

His Royal Majesty King Louis Hersh the XXIII passed away on Wednesday,September 7,2016.

Now I am a Madman Without A Cat.

I am lost. 

My drive,my enthusiasm for life is gone without him. 

My heart is broken. 

Otherwise known as Louie.

He was my life, my constant companion, my best friend, my child and the furry love of my life for over 2 years. 

The best part of my days is gone. 

I don’t want to come home at night. Home to a now empty and lifeless room. A room that I loved is now hollow and empty without my furry buddy in it. It haunts me mentally and emotionally that he isn’t here to greet me anymore. 

His life and death were leading me to move out either way. Now that he is gone I have to. 

The love of this cat,mine for him and his for me,kept me alive. Cuddling with him when I wasn’t emotionally up to living,kept me going. He helped me find a strength within me to keep going, even when the darkest corners of my own mind wanted me dead. 

I want to live. I just do not comprehend or fathom how to without Louie. 

I am trying to throw myself into my job,just to keep distracted. 

Trying to find anything,something to relight…no,not relight,that fire died with Louie.

Something to light a new fire within me. 

I just don’t know how or what will do it?

I want Louie back desperately with every fiber of my being.

I know that’s not going to happen and it is what hurts even more. 

I have moved out now. 

Louie my love, I miss you. 

I’ll go on for you.

Steve