#27 Once More With the Sun

Well​ my birthday is coming up again at the time I begin this writing it is 3 days away.

Time again to sit in retrospection and recap my year. Take stock of how I have developed.

Well since last year. I have quit two jobs, lost one,moved twice and lost my furry life partner. Battled my depression over Christmas and New Years. That all happened over the course of 9 months.

In March. I chose to leave a bad living situation and relocate over a thousand miles away. I may still be having trouble finding steady work but the positives outweigh the negatives.

Positives

  1. I’ve lost weight.
  2. I’ve become physically healthier than I have been in a long time.
  3. Found my spiritual connection to the world.
  4. Enrolled in school
  5. Determined my values
  6. Determined my short and long-term goals.
  7. Became a Dudeist Preist.
  8. I’m seeing someone,she’s pretty cool.
  9. I’m off my meds.
  10. Dealing with my anxiety better.

Negatives

  1. Had 4 pretty bad anxiety attacks.
  2. Still don’t have a steady job.

That’s all just off the top of my head.

I’m in a transitory phase in my life.

Becoming Reverend Hersh and discovering who this dude is.

Taking it easy. The Dudeist Way is the best change for me. Now I just tell myself this and it helps my anxiety attacks go away.

I’ve had so many positive experiences. 

Made new friends CJ an older (black) man who’s a veteran resembles Danny Glover but reminds me of Morgan Freeman, Roswell my friend of Spaniard descent who looks Mexican even though he isn’t,the girl I am seeing with her dark ebony skin and lively attitude she helps keep me grounded and my success coach without that leadership class I would still have no idea where I am headed with my life.  And a host of other people have contributed to my growth as a man in this world. All the people online who I may never get to meet in person from those that have been around for awhile to my newly added fellow Dudeists.

My personal development into a better person than I even thought possible. None of it would have happened if I hadn’t taken the risk and left town​. The best short notice decision I have ever made. 

Next year is the year of 42. 

Don’t Panic,Take It Easy,Yes-I know where my towel is and Life Is Just a Ride.

So thank you all for being a part of this journey that is my life. 

We are currently in the prologue of a new book for me. So not only am I defining who I am. I am also deciding who gets to stay and who gets unfortunately left behind. 

Come abide with me. 

Namaste my brothers and sisters Namaste.

The Reverend.

The Madman Without A Cat.

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#26 Vision for the future.

A follow-up to the last post. 

Again super busy with school, trying to find a place to live, and steady work.

But my vision for my future is clear.

My Vision

My personal life  Vision is to improve the well-being of all felines from the common house cat to large predatory cats. To be an advocate for large predatory cat conservation efforts. Being the public voice of feline and dude relationships. I plan to establish the First Temple of the Crazy Cat Dude,which would be the first physical Church of the Latter-Day Dude. A peaceful site where cats who have been long awaiting adoption due to age or health problems can live out their nine lives happily cared for. I desire to become physically fit so I may continue my vision for all feline kind through the rest of my days. 

The Reverend

The Madman Without A Cat.

#21 Lessons-1

I’ve learned a lot about myself on this adventure thus far. 

Lessons about life.

I am just chronicling my recognized changes for myself really.

1 Humble-I thought I was before. I am not bragging about any of this. Nor do I want praise.

2 Generosity-I may not have much right now. I honestly don’t know how much money I have given away on the journey thus far. Nor do I care. I am fortunately blessed right now. If someone who is nowhere doing near as well as I am asks for a dollar or two to grab some food I am going to give it to them. It is the humane thing to do.

3 Grace-I am fortunately and thankfully blessed  with everything I have right now.

4 Peaceful-oddly my mind has calmed down. The chaotic maelstrom that has been for so many years a part of my daily thinking experience has calmed to a light drizzle with the occasional clap of thunder and peal of lightning.

Monday March 13th 2017.

I walked out of the life I had,the person I was and on family and friends I had.

I allowed myself to die.

Who I was is dead.

And I am glad.

I gave up on everything I thought I needed to be happy.

I let it all go and surrendered my existence to allow myself to be reborn into someone new.

My depression is virtually gone.

My anxiety is at its lowest level ever.

I am alive.

I am safe.

I am renewed.

I just am.

Namaste

The Madman Without A Cat 

#1 Boys vs Men,Marriage, The Family Unit and Traditional Values.

My first post isn’t what I thought it was going to be. I don’t have a Vlog about these topics specifically. 

A female friend just had a status update about getting hit on by married men and her and others comments on it have inspired this. 

These opinions are mine and have been for a long time,they are not new.

Married men,hitting on single women I find to be not only distasteful but disrespectful to their wives. It is more like a Boy who asked a girl,who was foolish enough to say yes to the marriage proposal. He went through all the steps but never stepped up and became a Man in the process. 

I take marriage very seriously. I guess being the only one out of my immediate group of friends growing up whose parents did not get divorced. Though they were probably close when my mom walked out on us briefly when I was 8/9.

Though on a related note.

Parents want one thing really and that is for their children to grow up and be better people than they are.

I know my dad will never see this but. 

Hey Dad contrary to what you may think of me and my current issues and situations…I AM BETTER THAN YOU!

When mom was diagnosed with Leukemia in the beginning of 2000,you shortly there after CHOSE to ignore the IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH part of your marriage vows. You started seeing another woman behind moms back.

Something I will never do when and if I ever get mamarried.

That is how I am better than my father. It is also weird to be hit with that realization, that you ARE more of a man than your father is.

Marriage is a serious thing and I think way too many people do it too young and do not really take it seriously. So many dismiss it now. Some because their parents were to be blunt a “shitty couple” who thought they knew what love and marriage really ment. When they were just really still children themselves playing at being adults. 

Marriage is to me. Two people saying to each other I love you, I want us to be together for the rest of our lives,I want to see you every day,I want to support whatever you are working on even if it is not part of my personal skill set,I want to take care of you when you are sick,I want to be the one that lifts you up when you are feeling down,I want to celebrate your triumphs because they are our triumphs because we are a team,I have baggage, you have baggage lets carry it together to lighten each others load and sort through it as a team. 

For me if marriage ever comes to be part of my equation, she has to understand ahead of time.

Divorce is not an option.

I was proposed to twice by a former partner years ago,I could be married now if I would have said yes. When she asked I already knew what it would look like and hence why I said no and ended our friendship permanently after the second proposal. 

Real men are men of honor, who keep their word,who do not conform to things which are not correct and just. Boys do not get this idea today. 

This all due to the degradation of the family unit as a whole in western society today. So many children, whose parents never made the commitment of marriage,children who don’t know who their father is or do and he is absent as positive role model, the elevation and increase of ease by the system for baby mamas,who a larger portion of the time are still children themselves. Children attempting to raise children and failing miserably.

I am going to point a finger of blame here in western society. 

I blame the hippies,who if you do not happen to realize are the younger portion of the baby boomer generation. 

After the drugs,the protests,music,civil rights and the early development of today’s technology what have they done?

Propped up and made the very system they fought so hard against,worse than it was before they started. 

Free love=fatherless children. 

Free love=girls who are not prepared for motherhood raising children.
Free love=dead beat fathers.

Hey hippies/baby boomers everything you thought was such a good idea in your continual drug induced haze is what has led to the problems in society today.

Now in their old age,they complain about the lack of moral fiber in society. I ask,where was yours 50 years ago? 
They system they made worse does not help matters. 

I guess, I am old fashioned. 
I want to marry for life and love.

I want to raise children and teach them that just because society says something is okay, does not mean that it is.

Children that understand,the value of life is not tied up in materialistic and physical desires. That life is about loving and supporting one another through good times and bad. 

That one person can make a difference even if it means standing apart from the crowd and having the courage and fortitude to stand up for what is right and just.

I think,I am going to stop there for now,I may come back and edit it later.

Steve

The Madman with a Cat.